Humility.
What does it mean to be humble? Better yet what does humility look like in your own life? Sit and digest that for a minute while I tell you a story of my encounter with humility.
This year I got two flat tires within a span of two months, transitioned into a new church and new ministry, started counseling and doing what I like to call “excavating of the soul,” got engaged to my best friend, managed to do all this while preparing to graduate and by the first week of April I might add. Needless to say 2010 has been quite the year thus far. I’m sad to say that majority of these different events in my life I have initially tried to handle on my own. So rarely have I allowed God to be the first one on my, “OH I GOTTA TELL THEM THIS” list. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.
I had a hard time wrapping my head around this idea of humility and I have no idea why but it’s hard to explain even now. I instantly felt compelled to share my journey of humility but struggled thinking “Lord what could I really say?” With so many changes happening in my life it was as if I didn’t need to worry about being humble, I never thought it was an issue I struggled with. I mean it wasn’t like I was parading around talking about how awesome I am so why was I going through the things that I did to experience this new understanding of humility.
The Lord speaks to us all in so many different ways. It took a lot of struggle to finally realize that unless I was able to humble myself before Him I would not reap the rewards of the kingdom. Throughout every different challenge or change that I have been through this year the Lord has provided some sort of blessing and extended so much grace to an undeserving me.
God will and can use even the most ridiculous situations and turn it into good. He used me and my situation to introduce a whole new way of thinking about humility. It’s almost funny because a lesson on humility is in itself such a humbling thing to experience.
Psalm 25:9 writes, “He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.”
After I got my first flat tire I believe in February I had just enough money to get a new tire. I do not know how God does it but he answers so unexpectedly, we just need to be able to humble ourselves before Him and allow Him the freedom to do as HE wills. Let me tell you, driving 50mph on the freeway, in the slow lane, while cars are FLYING past you is one of the most humbling experiences I have endured. God didn’t leave me on the side of the road. God didn’t leave me without a way to get to where I needed to go. God answers when we least expect it.
I started fasting every Thursday from 6am-6-m. Brief background on me, I LOVE FOOD and therefore have never been disciplined enough to fast. I honestly have never truly understood fasting because to me going hungry sounds awful and when I’m without food I’m just a mess. However, after experiencing everything I have this year I wanted to respond to God by sacrificing a day of my week for him to work deeper in my life. I’m proud to say I’m currently a successful “faster.”
I get really bad migraines if I don’t eat and I was really worried about that so the night before my first Thursday fast I prayed for no headaches and for the strength to get through the day and I did PAIN FREE. With graduation around the corner the pressure to find a full time job has become a huge priority. I believe I sent out my resume to at least 20 different employment options and had not heard back from any prior to my decision to fast. So the night before I fasted I prayed for God to bring work to me. That same night when I went home I sent out my resume to an organization I had been previously interested in but was unsure if they were hiring. Well I found out after sending my resume that they were INDEED hiring, and that’s just the beginning. The next day I got a call from an organization asking to set up an interview. By the next week I had four interviews and numerous responses. Humbling much?
Throughout the word humility appears time and time again and what we know of the Bible is that when it repeats itself it must be important.
James 4:10 “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”
April brought so many different amazing changes, challenges, and discoveries into my life. God truly has done a number in my heart this year. In this moment I cannot help but stop to smile and think how it is such a wonderful time to be alive. I don’t proclaim to know it all but what I do know is this, the Lord is faithful and true. If we allow him to do what he does best then we will reap the benefits of living under His will. I’ve struggled with my undecided future but the Lord has taught me to embrace the mystery, and to go along for the ride because it will be a great journey.
I don’t believe I’m the most skilled writer, I often have a difficult time putting words together but I like to think that I am able to communicate transparently; straight up, raw, displaying an authenticate me so I hope I was able to transfer that to you today. So go my sisters, walk humbly and fervently before your God. Allow him to guide EVERY single decision and step along your walk. His love never fails, remember that.
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