When I was 14, I had a whole lot in common with many young women we see today.Despite my attempts to appear confident, I was unsure of myself. I was unsure of who I was and what my passions were. Like many girls, I looked to others for affirmation and acceptance.
My hometown has experienced growth in recent years, but no matter how many new restaurants are established, it usually feels the same. It brings back old memories of childhood, junior high, and high school. It is familiar and comforting.
The familiar consistency of my hometown shows me how much I have changed, every time I come home. It stands as a constant to show much how much I have grown and matured over the past few years. Coming back, everything feels so familiar, yet I feel so different than the girl who once grew up here.
I remember my senior year of high school, and wanting to desperately to start a new adventure. I was tired of the small town, the small school, and even the people. I was bitter and frustrated and just wanted an escape. It was not until I got out that I realized how much I had taken for granted. As the years have passed my attitude has changed. I have gotten closer with my family, have mended relationships that I was so quick to cut off, and I have come to love this little town that I once talked so negatively about.
I had a great conversation with a friend today, while sipping on a delicious soy latte. We hadn't spent much time together in years, and we were way past due for a reunion. Both of us have grown so much since graduation, and have seen God move in our lives, draw us closer to Him, and mold our hearts to seek His will in our choices. As I headed home I couldn't help but smile and thank God for what He does. Not only had I reconnected with a dear friend with a heart of gold, but I also left feeling uplifted, and reminded of the love of Christ.
It is amazing how the Lord will mold your heart and direct your paths when you just let go and let Him take control.
I once tried to control everything in my life. Grades, relationships, my future...I thought if I worked hard enough, everything would turn out just fine. What I realized is that I cannot do anything by my own strength. One day it hit me...I knew so much about Jesus, but had I ever truly surrendered and decided to live my life in pursuit of Him?
I took the plunge.
Distress turned to peace, a need for control changed to trust, insecurity changed to healthy confidence.
When I compare 14 year old Kristin to 21 year old Kristin, it is almost like they are two different people. As I talked to my mom about this she said, "I wish there was some way high school girls could see their lives 5-10 years down the road, not all the details, just enough to show them that everything will be okay...to not stress so much about the small stuff and learn from it all." Words well said.
But through it all, I can see how God used everything, even the hard stuff, to mold me into the person that I am today. And as I continue to face challenges and difficult times, I am reminded that it is all part of the beautiful process in which He molds us and refines us, so that we can draw closer to Him.
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